I think I'm going insane. Help me?
I know this is long, but if it’s one good deed you can do for the day, please help me. I’ll even add a TL;DR at the bottom.
Ok. So a few days ago I asked some questions about Anxiety.
As it is now – I feel like I can’t control myself. I feel as if the world isn’t real, my vision feels messed up, like there is a invisible glass in front of it and I realized I can see pictures in my head and it’s scaring me. I also am having trouble breathing and I’m conscious of every breath.
At first my vision messed up after I strained my neck. Then a few months passed after dealing with it, and I got deep in thought about the universe and why humans are humans; I was generally depressed that my vision was screwed up and that the five or so doctors I wen’t to couldn’t find anything wrong and diagnosed it as anxiety, then it hit me. I felt like I couldn’t control my actions and I was watching me mentally through a theater. Then the things I read on the internet followed, like conscious breaths, and narrating your every movement.
When I go out and socialize I forget about these things and they go away, but as soon as I think "What was I worried about?" "Oh yea." they come back no matter what I’m doing and hit me like a brick. I feel like I’m going insane and I feel as if this could never be treated and I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life. I don’t have any money to visit a therapist and If I go to the doctor again they are going to say I should just sleep it off… I’m not even getting help from family members.
I’m only 18 and I feel as if I’m going to be like this for the rest of my life!
Is this Anxiety, depression or what? Can it be treated? I’m scared. Every day my mind creates new things to worry about and be paranoid about. I just hope I can be cured from this affliction.
TL;DR: Vision is messed up, feel like I can’t control myself, I’m conscious that I can see pictures in my mind and my breathes are manual. Constant depression, panic attacks and all sorts of depersonalization and derealization. I feel like I’m going insane and I also feel like this could never be treated and I’ll never recover from this nightmare. I’ve been to many doctors who say I’m find and it’s just anxiety.
Can’t you get your therapy on insurance? because i really think you need it.
GOD has all the answers that you seek. JESUS is the way. If you haven’t already accept JESUS as your personal savior and follow his ways. If you follow the righteous words of the Holy Bible you will be ok. Ask GOD for guidance in this time of need in JESUS name.
See a therapist or tell your parents about it. Show them this page and they might understand it better.
Go to a doctor/counsellor that specializes in this sort of thing. It could be depression, but I’m no doctor.
My father has similar symptoms, and he has PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and depression. You could look in to that.
Good luck!
the breathing thing is you trying to remain in control, im assuming. i think its your anxiety that’s causing your vision to stay that way. you’re under a lot of stress, your body cant re-cooperate. try a massage. talking with the Masseur/Masseuse might help you forget, and a massage might relax you. you said your vision messed up when you strained your neck. it might just be stress hon. focus on doing things that take your mind off it, like socializing. hate to sound like another doctor, but thats what it sounds like to me. the mind is powerful tool. not a lot of people realize its potential, it likes to pull up fears, and yours surface a lot. if you can manage meditation, it might do you some good. music, a tv show, an art… find something you like to take your mind off it for a few mins everyday. try bringing in good thoughts… harder than it sounds, i know. but little by little helps. baby steps, hon, baby steps. progress doesnt happen over night.
good luck.